May 20, 2010

Special People

The last few weeks have been a little challenging for me here in Florence. Right before I left for Sicily, I was starting to physically feel a little "off". I managed to get through my trip as best I could - with the help of my very patient friend Valerie. Upon returning back to Florence, I started to feel really bad. I was feeling overly anxious, nervous and had a debilitating headache. My head hurt so bad, I could not get out of bed for almost a week. Honest to God, if it wasn't for a few special people in my life, I would of flown back to American for good. My boss Nicco, who is also one of my dearest friends, took really good care of me and made sure I was well taken care of under the Italian medical system. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful friend & gentleman in my life in Florence.

I gave myself a limit, I said if I did not feel better by the next week. I was going back to Atlanta. Thankfully, I did have great medical care here with Dr. Francesco Porro, a private doctor that works primarily with foreigners. Amen. If I had to deal with the public healthcare system here, I probably would of been back home the very next day. Sorry, waiting for 6-8 hours to be seen, when I can hardly stand straight or open my eyes - sounded liked an absolute nightmare. In my experience, I would prefer to pay the extra money and be seen right away and have a doctor readily available by phone 24/7.  All I wanted when I didn't feel well, was to have my family close to me. To feel confident that what the doctor was prescribing me was the right thing, and to get better - fast.

The reason I go into these details is because when you do not feel well, are away from your family and doctors - it really makes you start to think about your life and the choices you make. I made a choice a few years ago to move to Italy to re-invent myself, to feel love again, to feel inspired, and to be surrounded by art & creative people. What I did not expect is how, at times, it feels incredibly lonely living abroad.

I have had a few weeks of questioning whether I should be here or not, which is a normal feeling apparently for most expats. I recently had a split from a darling Italian guy, haven't felt well and making a good living here is a lot harder than I thought. I will say though, now that the weather is getting better and I am feeling more like myself - I feel more at peace. Maybe we have to go through all these different emotions to test ourselves into becoming the people God wants us to be.

My mother is coming to visit next week, and I cannot wait for a little slice of home. I am not ready to move away from here, but having family close will be really nice. Tonight was a beautiful night here in Florence, so I took my bike 'Pepe' for a swirl to Piazzale Michelangelo to watch the sunset.  Whenever I watch sunsets, I think of my Dad - and know that he is always close, even if an ocean divides us.

I am looking forward to the Spring (maybe Summer now) of good weather & many days outside. I know new loves, experiences and people are to be met. I am glad I have so many incredible friends here in Florence to watch after me, and to keep life into perspective. There is a whole world of possibilities for me & my future wherever it may be. But for now, I will keep looking for inspiration (and amore!!) within the Florentine walls.

1 comment:

leigh said...

I'm glad that you have people looking after you there. I can only imagine how scary it must be to feel so bad and miss home.

I love hearing about the life that you've carved for yourself in Italy. Such an amazingly brave choice you've made.

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